Hablar de maternidad es hablar de uno de los cambios vitales más importantes y desestabilizadores que podemos experimentar a lo largo de nuestra vida. Las personas que se enfrentan a la crianza por primera vez pueden escuchar todo tipo de recomendaciones y consejos, muchos de los cuáles no van a poder aplicar en su totalidad a su propia experiencia, ya que cada maternidad es un mundo. La sociedad ha señalado la maternidad como algo necesario, concluyente, especial y maravilloso, omitiendo así la inseguridad y el estrés que supone para cualquier persona que se enfrenta a ella por primera vez. 

Aún en pleno siglo XXI, las redes sociales se llenan de críticas hacia aquellas mujeres que reconocen haberse sentido decepcionadas con lo que la maternidad ha supuesto para ellas, víctimas seguramente de las omisiones que como sociedad hemos hecho para blanquear un proceso bello y dificultoso a partes iguales. No, no todas las mujeres que se convierten en madres son más felices por serlo. Sí, es posible arrepentirse de la decisión o desear estar viviendo una etapa completamente diferente. 

Una de las cosas más perjudiciales que hace el ser humano en relación a su propia psicología es juzgar sus procesos emocionales: no es tan difícil en sí experimentar la emoción, sino gestionar el juicio que hacemos de nosotros mismos por encontrarnos así. Un buen ejemplo para explicar este proceso de juicio lo tenemos en aquellas personas que señalan tenerlo todo en la vida y no sentirse felices. Cada vez más, las mujeres se animan a expresar su realidad acerca de la maternidad, aún a riesgo de verse juzgadas por una sociedad que todavía silencia las incomodidades y pérdidas asociadas a esta. 

 

La preparación emocional previa a la maternidad

Ser madre no es una ciencia exacta. No es posible predecir cómo será la vida de una persona tras la maternidad y esto, por más que nos mentalicemos, sigue generando incertidumbre y frustración a partes iguales. Podríamos decir que la clave está en no dar nada por sentado, ya que cada embarazo es único, si bien hoy en día contamos con un amplio espectro de literatura basada en la experiencia de la maternidad que puede servirnos como pequeña guía en este proceso. 

Consultar con profesionales, leer, informarse en fuentes fidedignas y recurrir a expertos a los que poder plasmar nuestras dudas, miedos y dificultades puede ayudarnos a empoderarnos y no dejarnos llevar por falsos mitos acerca de la maternidad que pueden perjudicar nuestro proceso. 

 

El estado psicológico de la mujer tras convertirse en madre por primera vez

Que la maternidad supone a todas luces un cambio vital increíble y difícilmente predecible para cualquier mujer es una realidad. Evidentemente, no todas las mujeres desarrollan trastornos psicopatológicos tras convertirse en madres o durante el embarazo, pero la Organización Mundial de la Salud (OMS) estima que en torno a una de cada cuatro mujeres desarrolla algún tipo de psicopatología durante el embarazo o tras dar a luz. 

Entre los trastornos más diagnosticados encontramos la depresión o los trastornos de ansiedad y, en menor medida, el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo, los trastornos de la conducta alimentaria e incluso la psicosis. La etapa posterior al parto, el puerperio, conlleva un desajuste hormonal que contribuye a que la mujer se encuentre en un estado vulnerable a nivel físico y psicológico, pero aún hoy en día atribuimos a esta etapa la supuesta felicidad absoluta que asumimos la caracteriza. Este fenómeno psicosocial tiene un doble efecto en la persona que acaba de convertirse en mamá: por un lado invalida su sufrimiento y el problema y por otro hace menos plausible que la mujer pida la ayuda que realmente necesita, al ver invisibilizadas sus necesidades. 

El entorno de la mujer en el posparto puede no saber cómo ayudarla a afrontar esta etapa, por eso es importante proporcionarle el espacio que necesita y el apoyo psicoemocional necesario. Para esto, practicar la escucha activa, sin enjuiciar si lo que la persona está experimentando está bien o mal y, sobre todo, evitar la culpabilización de la madre por expresar su frustración y malestar, se convierten en acciones absolutamente imprescindibles si queremos proporcionar a la persona el sostén emocional que necesita en esta fase de su vida. 

Recuerda, cada embarazo, cada puerperio y cada maternidad son procesos únicos y nunca podemos llegar a saber con absoluta certeza cómo lo está viviendo la otra persona. Partir de esta visión siempre nos ayudará a promover espacios de verdadera empatía, libres de juicio y donde las personas podamos comunicarnos de forma fluida.

 

Estrés y ansiedad durante y después del embarazo: Cambios corporales y psicológicos

El cuerpo de la mujer sufre muchos cambios durante el embarazo. Algunos de estos cambios son evidentes y contamos con ellos (como el incremento del volumen abdominal), pero otros pueden influir directamente en la autoestima y el autoconcepto de la mujer. Muchas mujeres se encuentran con la realidad de verse muy diferentes durante el embarazo respecto a cómo se habían visto antes: pueden aparecer manchas en la piel (hiperpigmentación), retención de líquidos, cambios en el aspecto del cabello o la piel, cambios en la cantidad de vello corporal, entre otros. 

Estos cambios, en su mayoría, son temporales pero tras dar a luz la mujer experimentará otros: aparición de estrías, posible incremento del vello corporal, acné, pérdida de volumen capilar, exceso de sudoración, flacidez abdominal, etc. 

Hoy en día impera la cultura de cuidar al bebé desde el mismo momento en el que se descubre el embarazo, lo que inevitablemente conlleva restricciones comportamentales y alimentarias para la mujer. Es natural querer mantener una rutina de vida saludable durante todo el embarazo, con el fin de cuidar tanto a la madre como al bebé, pero a menudo se cuestionan comportamientos de mujeres embarazadas que, una vez más, señalan a la gestante como la “culpable”. 

La realidad es que el proceso del embarazo en sí ya puede ser lo suficientemente duro y que la gestante reciba constantemente este mensaje del entorno no va a ayudar. La forma de apoyar a la mujer embarazada siempre debe ser desde la validación emocional, desde el acompañamiento sin juicio, tratando de respetar siempre el proceso psicológico de la persona, sin tratar de convencerla de que está pasando por el mejor momento de su vida, ya que puede no ser así.

La realidad es que durante 9 meses, la mujer es consciente de que lo que haga con su cuerpo puede repercutir directamente en la salud del bebé y, en muchos casos, esto genera sentimientos de hiperresponsabilidad que se relacionan directamente con la aparición de síntomas de estrés y ansiedad. 

Este proceso no termina una vez la mujer da a luz, ya que debe enfrentar sus propias expectativas sobre la maternidad mientras lucha contra las expectativas de su entorno. Pasar tiempo conociendo al bebé y fomentando el vínculo, desde la calma y no desde la presión social, ayudará a la madre a sentirse mejor conectada con su hijo, a reconocer mejor sus necesidades y a aceptar sus propias limitaciones. Las madres primerizas deben poder contar con espacios para su propio autocuidado, intentando (en la medida de lo posible y según el apoyo externo con el que cuenten) llevarlo a cabo mediante las siguientes actividades:

-La práctica de actividad física suave para recuperar tono muscular y ayudar al cerebro en la secreción de endorfinas.

-El cuidado de la alimentación, manteniendo unos horarios estables y adecuados.

-El ritmo de sueño, aprovechando pequeños ratos a lo largo del día para descansar y poder enfrentarse a la crianza con más energía.

-Contar con espacios de desahogo y ventilación emocional libres de juicio. Escuchar consejos en esta etapa puede no ser lo más adecuado, sobre todo porque es importante que la propia madre conozca a su bebé para aprender mejor sobre sus ritmos y necesidades.

-Delegar en los momentos de necesidad y autocuidado. A veces la madre integra la creencia de que no encargarse del bebé durante unas horas la convierte en mala madre, pero la realidad es que todas las personas necesitamos espacios personales para reestructurarnos y afrontar el día a día con más calma.

Mantener una visión realista del posparto, teniendo en cuenta todas las posibilidades (incluidas las que mencionamos en este artículo) también ayudará a la madre a sentirse mejor preparada para afrontar los cambios y dificultades que vayan surgiendo, siempre desde la aceptación y el aprendizaje. 

La maternidad es un constante ensayo y error, a veces no va a ser posible estar segura de qué es adecuado y qué no, por lo que aprender a convivir con esa incertidumbre es imprescindible para afrontar la primera etapa del posparto.

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  60. My coder is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  61. Hey there! I realize this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask. Does running a well-established blog like yours take a lot of work? I’m completely new to blogging but I do write in my diary on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my own experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Appreciate it!

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  63. My coder is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  64. When I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!

  65. The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  76. Whats up this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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